Trust Issues
by tomgirl1313
Summary: Basically America's boss gets shot and the vice president comes in, he's kinda mean but whatever. America is very OOC throughout this whole fic and it's in first person through his "diary." Criticism is accepted, and I might do a pairing, i'd have a vote for it though.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Hi people this is my new fic, I hope you like it and just as an fyi I'm American so I have no idea about some things in other countries. I speak a bit of French but not a lot so I mainly use google translate for anything of that sort. I sincerely apologize if I butcher anybodies language.**

**Disclaimer: I (sadly) don't own Hetalia**

I've been sitting in the dark for hours now waiting for sleep to overcome me but that doesn't seem to be working. Usually when this happens I fall asleep without noticing and then I sleep through my alarm clock, ultimately leading to the reasons I've been late to meetings lately.

I'm sorry you, my non-existent readers, must be confused, let me explain myself. I am Alfred F. Jones, I'm the personification of the United States of America. You are reading my journal, it's not some 'hero journal' like you might expect from me, but an honest recount of everything that's going on right now. Another question you might ask, what is going on right now?

Well that starts a little over two months ago. My current president had been assassinated. The whole country was in shock for a while but the vice president had stepped up and taken over, calming my people down. The president was a good man and had come to be my best friend during his first 3 year in office, needless to say I was a wreck. The first lady and some of the older secret service men and women tried to help calm me down. I was very touched, especially since they were in mourning too, but I couldn't find it in myself to move on.

The vice president was not very pleased with my actions.

He made it very clear that I had no right to receive any pity from anyone. He said I should stop faking misery and get back to work. He said it all right in front of almost all of the white house staff. Some of them were angry that he had said that but when one of them retaliated they were fired on the spot. The (ex) first lady walked over to the new president and started yelling at him but he called over some of the more 'faithful' secret service and told them to help the (ex) first lady to get her stuff cleared out and to leave for she no longer had a right to live there.

I should have stepped up and said something but I was too shocked at what was going on that I couldn't move. One of the men later on had to escort me back to my room. I sat on my bed and stared at the wall for hours in fear of going to sleep because every time I went to sleep I had nightmares. I had nightmares of the assassination among other things but mainly it's been of that. I think of how I could have jumped in front of him and took the bullet, I can't be killed anyways. It makes me so angry that I've become as stupid as all the other countries think I am.

Speaking of the other countries I have a meeting with them In Canada at the end of the week. I'm going to try and put on a smile from now on though because the president's right, I don't have a right to receive pity from anyone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**That one was a little less depressing. I also wanted to say that final exams are horrible, they're way too quick and then you need to sit there forever because they won't let you leave. I ended up drawing on my hand so it looked bionic, I think it worked pretty well. I wanna try and draw some cover art but I'm lazy and if someone really wants to draw some instead, be my guest.**

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I think I'm going to write in this journal everyday, It seems that something new happens everyday at least.

Today I was told that this meeting happening on Friday, today's Wednesday, I will be presenting something of actual intelligence. When I asked what he meant I was told that when the president asked the other countries honest opinions of me they all said that I was not very intelligent and they wished I could at least make a sensible report instead of one about super heroes.

I tried explaining to him that I had been told by all of my past presidents to play dumb because some of the other countries were already a bit threatened by my super strength. He said that I must have been doing a spectacular job because I was listening to them when they said that. He also told me that I was to be studying with some of the highest scholars in my spare time.

It sounds extremely interesting but i'm not sure it's necessary when we could be spending the money on something else. I explained my troubles to the president and he told me not to worry and that maybe helping me might help the general public. I shrugged. It was worth a try at least.

Over the next couple of days I got to study with the scholars and was actually enrolled in college. I'm taking some courses online and am even able to go into the college, one of the classes I'm taking required me to write a report on global warming and I think I might just use the report as my notes in the world meeting because i'm too tired to write some tonight. The meetings tomorrow if you couldn't tell by what I was saying.

Anyways, I think that's all i'm going to write. I haven't had too much time to write like I thought I might have earlier but it's ok. I just remembered to set my alarm and now i'm going to bed so I can get up early for the meeting tomorrow, goodnight my non-existent readers.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**I'm sorry these are so short I just don't want to have too many time changes in the writings. I hope you guys like this fic, I haven't had wifi for a little while so I started typing these when I got bored (don't worry i'll keep going even when I have wifi).**

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At the meeting I was actually on time and dressed a bit more appropriately. I had traded in my military uniform for a white button up shirt with some black dress pants and my usual bomber jacket, I could never leave it. The briefcase I had brought was new and full of the real ideas, some me and the scholars had scribbled down and notes from the report that I had turned in. So far it's feeling really nice to not have to be fake. Being there on time seemed to shock some of the nations, especially with the clothes i was wearing.

I sat down in my seat hoping no one asked me any stupid questions. In the mean time I decided to look through some of my notes before the meeting started. As I was skimming through them I heard a small gasp of shock come from behind me. I turned around and saw my brother in the doorway. I gave him a smile, and not the fake ones I usually hand out to keep up with the stupid appearance.

"Hey bro, I wanted to talk to you before the meeting started." I said, not as loud as I usually would. He started to walk toward me and said "That's nice but why are you here. Not that i'm not happy to see you or anything like that, it's just that you're never early." Canada said shyly.

"I know but my boss decided that I should start acting like I would normally." I responded but Canada was still confused so I started explaining everything, leaving out the assassination part. He seemed to take it well and left to his seat with a nod. As he sat down I remembered what I wanted to ask him.

"Hey Mattie, would you like me to help host the meeting. I don't mean to be rude but you're usually so quiet and you're too polite to yell at the other countries." I asked Matt hoping he wouldn't take offense. Thankfully he didn't and told me he would love to help but added in not to take the spotlight jokingly, I assured him I wouldn't with a smile.

As some of the other countries started walking in they would stop and stare at me. It was pretty uncomfortable but I knew it was going to happen. I sat still in my chair trying to go over my notes but I was nervous. What if all the other presidents were right and I should continue to play stupid, what if the countries stated to act scared of me, or even rude. I started panicking a bit until I realized it didn't matter.

If my president now thought it was a good idea who am I to question. He is my boss, I may be older than him but if he wants to try changing things up in the world then why not. It would also be nice not to have to act in front of my friends. I just hope they're as accepting as Matt.

I have to go now but I will write again after I get back from the meeting, until later my non-existing readers.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**I'm going to update slowly, sorry. I just know that if I update to fast i'll never get around to actually continuing, I honestly don't know where this is going, just having fun but if you have any suggestions i'll be happy to take them.**

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I'm back and it didn't go well, they kept joking about how it was all done for me and how I should just stop faking. Some of them were reassuring themselves I was only faking with fear in their eyes. I got really upset at all the jeers I received during my presentation, once England started joining in I exploded.

All the sudden I was really angry and I walked toward England very slowly and asked him if he would like to repeat what he said, him being stubborn and all repeated it with a bit of fear lacing into his words. Then the temperature dropped and the lights dimmed, a blue glow covered my entire body and I started screaming threats and slurs in every language possible at him. As he tried backing away I stomped towards him fists at my side. Nobody tried stopping me for a bit until my hand started reaching for my gun I always kept on me, then Russia stood up and tried to pull me out of the room with extreme difficulties.

Once I was out of the room I went back to normal and apologized for making a big fuss. It was suggested that I went home but the thought of having to explain to the president why I was back early scared me enough to decline the offer. The other countries were shocked at my answer but quickly recovered. I took my seat and told whoever was presenting next to go.

The meeting continued quieter than normal but finished quickly with a lot of glances in my direction. Once I was over I packed up the notes I took and started walking out until I was stopped by Russia.

"Comrade, why is it that you are acting like you are in Cold War again?" He asked putting a hand on my shoulder, shockingly enough he didn't have his childish smile on his face and actually looked slightly concerned.

"It's nothing really, my boss just decided I needed to act normal again. He had heard rumors of what I'm like during international encounters and said to drop my childish act. I explained to him the reason I was to keep it in place and he said that if I was really America I should act like it no matter what anyone else thinks." I replied with a slight smile on my face, happy my president was being a good leader, even if I didn't always understand some of his rules I knew they were always for the better.

"I do not understand." Russia stated. I was slightly confused at how he didn't understand, it was really quite simple. I sighed and started to explain again.

"My president decided that I should start acting like the real America-" I started but was cut off.

"Da, I understand that but this is not the real America. The real America is stupid and rude." He said as though it was the simplest thing in the world. I glared at him until I started getting a little blue, twice in the matter of hours.

"This is the real America, that idiot that you usually see is just a ploy. My other presidents decided it would be a risk of national security if I acted like my normal self. The president I have now though thinks it is stupid to play the idiot and have other countries look down on me and my people. He is a good president and rules with an iron fist, so would I if I had been ordered to do this a long time ago.

Russia seemed slightly scared and just nodded his head, walking away to the door. I smiled slightly to myself and started walking to my car. Once I got back I realized I was almost 20 minutes late. I got a little worried but figured my boss would understand, sadly he didn't however because when he saw me he started to yell about what other people would think and how the students had been waiting. When I started apologizing to him he yelled again and I said he wasn't the one I need to apologize too, I nodded my head and went to the library quickly apologizing to the scholars.

Once we started working on homework and reports everything went back to normal and after that was finished we had some debates about some of the new laws that were trying to be passed. I thanked them for their input and they left, once I was done packing up my boss walked in and said I needed to heighten some of my battle senses. I readily agreed thinking the idea was brilliant and he said he'd bring in some strategy experts along with geniuses on the battlefield that I could train with.

The day started off slightly unpleasant but quickly got better. Thats all I'm writing for today but we'll see how the rest of the week goes, I think I have a meeting with one of China's bosses about debt soon so I may not be able to write again this week. Until later my "readers."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**I have so much homework, it really sucks. I have gone from having no honors classes to all honors classes and it's my second year of highschool with everything switching to common core. The worst part is that I can only ask certain friends about the homework because some of my friends didn't get in the same classes as me. Sorry for ranting, on with the fic…**

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I haven't been able to write in a month. I feel bad even though there's no one actually reading this. Anyways, in this past month I've been studying with the scholars and strategic experts along with the vigorous training some military experts have been doing with me.

With the scholars, we're studying some weather changes and if there's a possibility for sustainable life on mars and how (two separate sets of scholars for each topic). The group i'm working with for the weather plans on sending up a satellite we can monitor certain things with, but when I asked my boss for funding he said if I want something that much than I have to work for it and earn my own money. We calculated how much we would need, almost $300,000.

We've been figuring out exactly what to do in order to earn the money, the group thinks we should put some money we have saved up into the stock market. I'm a little nervous for obvious reasons but agreed nonetheless. After talking to a lot of connections everyone has we decided on a couple new medical branches.

Nothing new has happened with my mars group but because of Isis there has been a lot of hype with the military strategists i'm currently working with. We plan on doing something and soon but we don't want it to be like the past years in the middle East. Everyone wants to bring the men and women who are there now home but with the new threat we're not sure what to do. If war does break out I have been informed that I will be out with my soldiers on the front lines.

Other than my role as a student the other countries have been ignoring me. I think they might be afraid, not even my brother has tried to call me. I hope they understand that I'm sorry for being a fake almost all my life and that this isn't some prank. I have a meeting with China soon and I think I might ask him what the other countries are thinking. I'm suppose to go talk to him about my debt to him and a few export safety precautions. My meeting is in four days and my boss is giving me the day before I leave off which will be nice.

In the next couple of days I will finish some conversations with everyone I'm working with and make myself a couple things to do for homework. Soon the other nations will understand I'm not useless and can actually comprehend the thins they say.

For now I will keep this short and end this entry, goodbye for not my non-existent readers.


End file.
